My apologies...

So sorry for not being on here much lately but my life has gone mad!
Here's a rundown....

ST has finally sent me a cheque for 3K - on time and banked it today!!!!!
Work is bonkers - head is seriously applying for lots of jobs so it's only a matter of time - eek!
TB has been such a lovely mate recently and has taken me out loads.

Oh, and I think I may be in love.

Aha! I knew that last one might get you! Actually it's not far from the truth to be honest. I had a long chat with TB the night I got back from London and told him that I really wasn't up for a relationship at all due to a combination of the circumstances and the fact that I don't think we could really be anything more than mates. He's been fine about it all and has stayed my friend and we've actually seen loads of each other this week and had a great time. However, it's not him that I'm mad about.

Not sure if any of you remember me posting about "army boy" early on in this blog. Well, we never did meet up properly but have stayed in touch on and off. He's been away with the TA quite a lot over the summer and I've obviously had my head up my arse so it was never going to be a big romance. However, met up with him on Monday and it was amazing.
Now, I'm not sure if you heard the enormous halleluah chorus, the angels singing, the thunderbolts or the hearts and flowers popping all round our heads but they were pretty cataclysmic.
I literally felt like I'd been whacked in the stomach with a baseball bat when he turned round and smiled at me when I met him at the bar for a drink. However that may have been the family size packet of beetroot that I'd decided to eat - bad move but it was all I had in apart from some out of date Kendall mint cake that I found in the pantry when I moved in.

He's 30, a mechanical engineer with a first class maths degree and a masters in mechanical engineering. Blonde, nordic looking, 6'3", gorgeous smile, unutterably and hilariously posh, charming, completely hysterical (had me in tears nearly all night), a captain in the TA, generous, kind and considerate. We sat down at just before 7pm and the landlord had to come and throw us out just before midnight but neither of us had even noticed the time - it had literally flown.

He walked me back to my car and I had the first kiss I've had since the end of January and flippin heck - it was a winner! I'm so glad I was being held up by him because I swear I would have ended up in the gutter in a gibbering heap otherwise.

I drove home with a grin so wide that was in danger of dislocating my jaw and he texted me on the way back to his car to say that he hoped it wasn't too early to get in touch but that he couldn't believe how lovely I was and that he was incredibly happy to have met me. He's texted me loads over the last couple of days and we're meeting up again tomorrow. I've honestly not felt anything like this since when I first met ST. I can't eat, I can't concentrate and I'm just checking my phone every two minutes and then guffawing with laughter at his stupid messages.

Oh god, I'm so ridiculously excited about this. Even, if it comes to nothing then at least I know that it is possible to feel something for someone again and for that feeling to be a positive one. I've spent so long feeling like I'm just numb and now I feel like someone's switched the fairy lights back on inside me and I'm all twinkly again.

TB knows all about him and has said he's fine about it. he said that he guessed ages ago that we were not going to be much more than mates and that he's miffed it's not him but that he's happy for me.

Anyway, I'm off out with army boy again tomorrow - he's taking me out for dinner and he's asked if I'll accompany him to some army ball next month so it all sounds fairly promising.

Can't update much more at the moment though as have to dash back to go training. Have half written the Sunday in London so will finish it and promise to have it up by 4pm tomorrow. Cross my heart and hope to die - stick a laptop in my eye!

So, wish me luck, I'm off to find that cupid bloke and shake his hand and wiggle his wings before I go and splash the cash on Friday night. Bannerhanger are having their UK debut and are taking a whole entourage out with them so it'll be cocktails and chaos all round.

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