The dreaded exams...

Anyway, looks like my first post has worked so I'm all set to ditch the dunce's hat - hooray!
Arrived at my exam venue over 45 minutes early and in a deserted card park in the middle of nowhere. After reading and re-reading my notes for ages i was rudely interrupted by someone banging on my car window. I opened the door and accidentally flung it much too hard so almost flattened the person the other side. Note to self - never a good move to lay out the person who is to be your chief examiner on the floor of a gravel car park.
I had barely managed to extricate myself from the car to help her up when I realised I still had half a rasher of bacon stuck to my thigh from the Ginsters saturated fat festival 2008 that I had hastily consumed on the dual carriageway. I
I therefore was greeting my examiner for the day (who had apparently spotted me lurking in the car park and was going to tell me to come in for coffee) by bodyslamming her into the ground and wearing fried pork as an accessory. The day was going well and I wondered what on earth I'd done to "The creator" to warrant such a poor first impression.
As the examiner dusted herself off and I checked myself for any more sandwich filling, we made our way into the "holding room".
I was pleased to see that the other people waiting for the exam didn't seem infinitley more professional looking than me or have huge brains the size of watermelons (although none of them looked as if they'd tried to wear a rasher within the last ten minutes).
We were allocated an examiner for the interview part of the exam and I had to stifle a giggle as mine looked exactly like Roald Dahl's the BFG!!! He was huge, old, very slim and with a really kind face. I resisted the urge to shout "snozzcumbers!" and followed him into the interview room.
It was then that I found the worst thing you cn possibly say in answer to your first question about what you think your skills are as a leader. Did I mention vision? Empowerment of others? Organisation? Ability to see the bigger picture and analyse information effectively? NO. What I actually said was "Oooo look, I've just seen a squirrel!". A squirrel. A sodding squirrel.
Instead of reflecting on all of my previous development points, I instead referred to the local wildlife. Unfortunately the BFG was not a keen animal lover and did not even turn around to look where I had been pointing. Instead, I watched the squirrel alone, who I swear was laughing at me. Little sod.
I also slightly ruined things when I got so nervous that when we were informed that we were to do the Apprentice-style "Group Exercise" I laughed and said "So, who's brought their legwarmers and leotard then??!!" It was a true tumbleweed moment and one that made me cringe all the way home.
I completed the written task - thankfully with no references to squirrels or trapping examiners under vehicles and arrived home in one piece.
Am now reflecting on my day with a large gin and tonic and am rather exhausted by my run in with the orange bearded messiah at the BP garage the bodyslammed examiner and the sabotaging squirrel.
Oh well. Surely tomorrow can only get better.
XXXX Candy