The plot thickens and my blood boils...

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - is there nothing that that toerag won't stoop to????

I logged onto my e-mail account yesterday and found an e-mail from ST. Now, was it a grovelling apology?

No.

Was it an explanation of why he had ended up with bailiffs' letters being sent to my house?

No.

Was it a promise that all would be resolved and it would not happen again in the future?

No.

So, I hear you cry, what was it?


I'll tell you but you may not believe it...

He e-mailed me to have a go at me and accuse me of deliberately witholding his post as he reckoned the bailiff's letter was the first he'd heard about it.
After I'd enjoyed my brief holiday on the costa del moral high ground, he'd only gone and fed his parents a pack of lies about me receiving all previous letters from the courts in an attempt to get him into trouble!!!!!

The daft thing is, after only two days of leaving me, he'd returned his keys, removed his wedding ring and had all of his post redirected. Occasionally the odd thing has slipped through the Royal Mail net, usually hand delivered things regarding all of his bailiff and CCJ debts but I've always rung his mother about these (no point ringing him, he never answers the phone to me) so that he can deal with them in plenty of time and then forwarded them to his parents' address where he is staying.

However, in order to maintain his perfect little boy facade, he's now apparently spun his parents a pack of lies and made me out to be spiteful and nasty to him. I could scream. My parents are fuming about it and are very close to calling his parents to set the record straight again. His parents and him seem to have forgotten that it's not me with the record for deception, fraudlent mortgage deals, lying to people, deserting their spouse, racking up thousands of pounds worth of debts, ripping me off for thousands of pounds and being issued with CCJs and bailiff's letters in the past. He's now trying to pin this latest one on me when I've done absolutely nothing. I could explode I'm that angry. How dare he!

Anyway, enough of him and his vile accusations, I have some more updating to do.

I returned from PGL in one piece with, more importantly, the children all in one piece too. I was borderline hypothermic and close to starvation due to the crappy food there but I had spent a dry week (no rain yay!) and had quite a good time watching the children enjoying themselves so much. I'm sure their parents' hearts would have been in their mouths though as they saw how brave some of them were when they were flinging themselves round an assult course that was suspended over 15 metres up in the air! I totally disgraced myself on that assault course. Last year when we went, i got stuck behind one of my girls who began to have a panic attack and had to be rescued so I was balancing on a wobbly log, 15 metres up on wobbly log. It did nothing for my fear of heigths but I was determined that I was going to complete the course this year. Unfortunately, despite being strapped into a very strong harness, being led by the instructor and having my whole class cheer me on, i only managed part of the course. Now, it wasn't due to my lack of confidence but was because the wind got up and the instructor deemed it too dangerous to carry on. Thank you god! However, I have become legendary amongst my Year 6 children because, as I was about to step out onto a balance beam with nothing to hold onto and only a rope between me and a 15 metre drop, I accidentally, and from a very scared part of the deepest place in me, I let out an enormous cry of "OH FUCK!!!" The kids thought that this was hilarious and were falling about laughing, partly at hearing their normally very composed deputy headteacher swearing and partly becuase when I clapped my hands to my mouth to try and reduce the impact of my swearing, I wobbled off the balance beam and ended up suspended and flailing around like a fly in a web and the instructor had to rescue me and help me back onto the log. I was every inch the personification of composure and professionalism. I wasn't the worse though, one of the kids was deliberately banging his log on the assault course into the one my colleague was balancing on and my colleague was so scared he uttered the now infamous, "If I wasn't your teacher I'd bang you out for that - pack wobbling it you goon!" It's amazing what sheer terror strips you of

I redeemed myself on the giant swing though and managed to negotiate the climbing wall as well as the abseiling tower. I discovered I am no Robin Hood as my archery almost kebabed an unsuspecting pheasant instead of the target but my rifle shooting was excellent. You see, a more sedate country pursuit is obviously more suited to me than hanging like spiderman off a giant balance beam whilst an over tight harness almost cuts my nethers in half.

Looks like I'm going to have a double whammy of PGL too as we're booking for our current Year 5s for September when they're year 6s so I'll do two weeks of sleeping on a mattress which has all the comfort of sleeping in my dad's toolbox and eating food that's so stodgy you could lay a patio with it. Hey ho, at least it keeps me out of the shops!

My weekend was spent kneeling on the carpet and swearing a lot. Tom and I decided to go to Ikea on Saturday to buy all the furniture for the first round of his redecoration. I was a bit too keen and was knee deep in chests of drawers and side tables with weird names such as "Fartlick" "Arsebunk" or other such delicate names. Luckily, due to all my family building connections, I'm a dab hand with a screwdriver and had assembled all of the furniture and carted it upstairs myself before Tom returned from his local town for a bizarre role reversal where he entered the house carrying a tub of olives and a box of flowers and I was banging nails into his wall to hang a picture and carting hauling furniture around - and who says traditional roles are dying out!

I couldn't even face a drink this weekend as I was so tired. Tom had bought me a bottle of pink champagne for Friday night but I only managed one and half glasses before I fell asleep in front of comic relief and split the rest of the bottle down the back of his sofa - oops!

We went for a long walk on Sunday which was rather rudely interrupted by my boss who had forgotten an inspection deadline for Monday and so I spent most of my sunday evening typing frantic notes for the local authority inspector and cobbling together monitoring reports. Not exactly the relaxing recovery from PGL that I had anticipated.

Have got a mad week at work too, we've got mums' open morning tomorrow, a visit from the head of the local council on Thursday and a gym display on Friday. There really is no rest for the wicked!

So, I'll log off for now but hopefully be back soon to update more.

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